I so identify with driving each other crazy! We only once had a sort of family reunion and it brought out conflict, as expected. We were 4 divvying up things after my parents died, and my oldest sis had a system where we took turns choosing something. Once in a while someone managed to express their regret over something and changes were made. Not many. (I couldn't take any furniture or large objects because I live abroad). What a time that was!